The forms and amount of information required seemed endless. The agency wanted to know everything.
“Medical History: have you ever been treated for…name of physician we can contact for verification.” My heart beat rapidly and my hands trembled as I wondered, would my past really prevent our dream from being fulfilled? But, there it was staring at me in black and white. My heart sank.
Fear. I was a hot-mess and full of it; afraid my struggles and sins of the past would forever determine my future (I never said fear was rational); fearful I’d always be viewed and labeled as an “anorexic” (as I had in the past by some). After all, others had been denied the right to adopt a child because of their past, will the same happen to us? Fear.
My husband, an encouraging, supportive partner spoke life into my heart, believing God would fulfill our dream to parent a child.
After filling out pages and pages of information, we turned it all in to our social worker and waited. And waited some more. Finally, we met with our social worker to finalize the home-study portion of the adoption process.
“By the way, we contacted your eating disorder counselor and were told the office moved. They no longer have your file and don’t know where it is. However, we see no problems with this.”
In that moment God whispered, “The past is in the past and remembered no more. You are free.”
God set me free – my past no longer an issue. Soon afterward, my husband and I became the proud parents to a beautiful baby boy!
Whatever struggles you’re going through, your past doesn’t determine your future. God wipes the “slate” clean and sets you free. He gives us a fresh start – every day, every hour, every minute. He never runs out of mercy and compassion. He loves you and me that much. ~
*Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “His (God) mercies (and compassions) are new every morning”
*Hebrews 10:17-18 says, “Their sins I remember no more”
*Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He (God) removed our sins from us.”